This is goodbye

My fucking ears are going to explode.  My eyeballs feel like they have been dipped in sand.  My throat feels like it has been skinned.  What am I?, a fucking toddler?  Who gets adult ear infections? Pink eye? Well this woman-toddler does.  I know head removal is never advised, but I am beginning to consider it, and ready to do it myself.  There is no slutty Blache Deveroux Golden Girls shtick to cheer me up.  A surprise Designing Women DVD could appear in my bed.  A preview of PeeWee Hermans new movie.  Shirley Maclaine/ Olympia Dukakis fight. 10 puppies ready to snuggle.  Every pain pill in Janice Dickinson's pre-rehab medicine cabinet.  No food.  No booze.  Nothing can help me now.  I want to be put down.  I would like to pet the puppies real hard before I go.  Just make it quick.  I leave everything to Connie, the rest of you, well you can get fucked.