Moe: I'm about to die and I never tried cantaloupes!!!
Krusty: Trust me you aren't missing anything, honeydew is the money melon.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Chad and I are starting a restaurant. Bring your friends. (no children)
Right at the corner of Vance Jackson and Huebner, there is this little piece of heaven (strip center).
Saturday, March 19, 2011
My response to some stupid asshole against a new Whole Foods on the north side.
Wow. This fart blossom really grinds my gears. I have been waiting for a Whole Foods a little closer to my house for quite some time. I'm a huge fan, and I think San Antonio could easily support several locations in this town. This douche is trying to prevent me getting Cilantro Pesto Tofu into my mouth in under 10 minutes, driving from home to store. SO FUCK HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!
DICKFACE:
[quote=smuboy86;18297456]I don't get it, I think that the San Antonio whole foods is perfectly adequate for our needs as a city. It's comparable to any whole foods it's age and some that are newer. It's quite a bit larger than the one in the Dallas suburb of Richardson and about the same size as the Plano and Highland Park locations. It's probably triple the size of the old dallas one that just got replaced by the one in the picture above. The old Dallas one had been around in one shape or another since the early 80's.
I think that the stone oak one is going to bomb, people out there are to concerned with double coupons and trying to keep there suburbans filled with gas. They may make a special trip once in a while, but I doubt they make it a regular experience.[/quote]
ME:
San Antonio is a big city, a huge city size wise. Why shouldn't everyone have the access to the great grocery store Whole Foods is without having to drive to Alamo Heights? Ya, Stone Oak is pretty lame, but it will be so much closer and convenient for large portion of the city, not just Stone Oak. You are making that Stone Oak crowd look pretty good next to your BS. I used to work at the Whole Foods you speak of. People would drive from Boerne, Kerville, Bulverde, and all over the hill country to buy all of their groceries on a consistent basis. Huge short cut for them! Maybe the Whole Foods with the 09 address is perfectly adequate for you, but this is going to be great for the rest of us. No one is taking YOUR Whole Foods away bro. Calm the fuck down! Just spreading the tofu and lavender oil to the other side of town. Why can't we all do a line! The double coupon comment makes you look especially ridiculous, do you think financially conscience people and all natural food stores are exclusive of each other? Maybe the biggest bonus from the new store is no possibility running into a pretentious ass like you. Congrats on your knowledge of Dallas Whole Foods square footage, no one here gives a shit. Move back! I guarantee you won't be missed, and I'm sure a bunch of 6 fingered inbreds from Highland Park will care a lot more about the bullshit that comes out of your mouth than the good people of San Antonio.
GOOD LUCK WITH THE MOVE!
DICKFACE:
[quote=smuboy86;18297456]I don't get it, I think that the San Antonio whole foods is perfectly adequate for our needs as a city. It's comparable to any whole foods it's age and some that are newer. It's quite a bit larger than the one in the Dallas suburb of Richardson and about the same size as the Plano and Highland Park locations. It's probably triple the size of the old dallas one that just got replaced by the one in the picture above. The old Dallas one had been around in one shape or another since the early 80's.
I think that the stone oak one is going to bomb, people out there are to concerned with double coupons and trying to keep there suburbans filled with gas. They may make a special trip once in a while, but I doubt they make it a regular experience.[/quote]
ME:
San Antonio is a big city, a huge city size wise. Why shouldn't everyone have the access to the great grocery store Whole Foods is without having to drive to Alamo Heights? Ya, Stone Oak is pretty lame, but it will be so much closer and convenient for large portion of the city, not just Stone Oak. You are making that Stone Oak crowd look pretty good next to your BS. I used to work at the Whole Foods you speak of. People would drive from Boerne, Kerville, Bulverde, and all over the hill country to buy all of their groceries on a consistent basis. Huge short cut for them! Maybe the Whole Foods with the 09 address is perfectly adequate for you, but this is going to be great for the rest of us. No one is taking YOUR Whole Foods away bro. Calm the fuck down! Just spreading the tofu and lavender oil to the other side of town. Why can't we all do a line! The double coupon comment makes you look especially ridiculous, do you think financially conscience people and all natural food stores are exclusive of each other? Maybe the biggest bonus from the new store is no possibility running into a pretentious ass like you. Congrats on your knowledge of Dallas Whole Foods square footage, no one here gives a shit. Move back! I guarantee you won't be missed, and I'm sure a bunch of 6 fingered inbreds from Highland Park will care a lot more about the bullshit that comes out of your mouth than the good people of San Antonio.
GOOD LUCK WITH THE MOVE!
Friday, March 18, 2011
Top Old Man Rees Quotes. In a somewhat particular order.
1. Chad: Would you like a sip of my milkshake Mr. Rees?
Mr. Rees: FUCK NO!!!!!!!!!
2. THERE'S A BONE! (while eating Trip's somewhat smoked salmon)
3. Chad: Where the fuck is Craig?!! (at three in the morning after Dallas Sessions falsely accused Craig of stealing Becky Glusac's phone)
Mr. Rees: He is here Chad
Chad: Well unlock the door because I am coming over to kick his ass
Mr. Ress: Ok. AND GIVE HIM A PUNCH FOR ME!
4. It's not easy being retired!
5. "I pay for everything.............Give me a kiss.............I'm getting the hell out of here."
6. That's a good slice! OOOP! (slice of pizza does a backflip)
7. Who is this Lauren? (while craig is pretending to be some asian, shit talking from Linda's house)
8. "Hey Amy... would you like to ring the bell?" (referring to the bb gun that sit's by his sliding glass door, and the bell that hangs from the tree.)
9. Craig: Hey old man, how was lunch?
Old Man Rees: It was fine?
Craig: Thats not what I heard! I heard you spilled a full beer, and ruined lunch!
Old Man Rees: Mah! WHO TOLD YOU?!
10. God dammit, your mother, she is a beautiful woman. But she's a little high strung. BAH
11. Do you see a drink in my hand now, Linda?!
12. "Do you like gin?" -old man's go-to pickup line.
13. Host of "Hollywood Squares" game show in 1978: "So Mr. Rees, what have you been doing while
in Burbank?"
Old Man Rees: "DRINKING TOTTIES!!!!!"
Mr. Rees: FUCK NO!!!!!!!!!
2. THERE'S A BONE! (while eating Trip's somewhat smoked salmon)
3. Chad: Where the fuck is Craig?!! (at three in the morning after Dallas Sessions falsely accused Craig of stealing Becky Glusac's phone)
Mr. Rees: He is here Chad
Chad: Well unlock the door because I am coming over to kick his ass
Mr. Ress: Ok. AND GIVE HIM A PUNCH FOR ME!
4. It's not easy being retired!
5. "I pay for everything.............Give me a kiss.............I'm getting the hell out of here."
6. That's a good slice! OOOP! (slice of pizza does a backflip)
7. Who is this Lauren? (while craig is pretending to be some asian, shit talking from Linda's house)
8. "Hey Amy... would you like to ring the bell?" (referring to the bb gun that sit's by his sliding glass door, and the bell that hangs from the tree.)
9. Craig: Hey old man, how was lunch?
Old Man Rees: It was fine?
Craig: Thats not what I heard! I heard you spilled a full beer, and ruined lunch!
Old Man Rees: Mah! WHO TOLD YOU?!
10. God dammit, your mother, she is a beautiful woman. But she's a little high strung. BAH
11. Do you see a drink in my hand now, Linda?!
12. "Do you like gin?" -old man's go-to pickup line.
13. Host of "Hollywood Squares" game show in 1978: "So Mr. Rees, what have you been doing while
in Burbank?"
Old Man Rees: "DRINKING TOTTIES!!!!!"
Thursday, March 10, 2011
This was meant to be a food blog, but who gives a shit about food blogs anymore?
The guy who played the dad in The Wonder Years is not Vincent Lombardi. German Potato Salad is really not a salad, in that is does not contain Mayonnaise. Adam Sandler broke my heart and now will only make shitty movies forever.
Racism
Why do all of the evil children in the pixar movies always have freckles? Class Action suit ensues.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Would you like to swing on a star?
Or would you rather go to earth? "Out of This World". Great TV show from the 90's, with an even better theme song. So, this teenaged chick can freeze time by simply pointing her index fingers together. Apparently her mom fucked some alien, thus the superpower. I want to say she had some gay uncle who was in on the secret. But for the most part she is raised by her single mom, and gets these weird visits from her dad who is some kind of light ball who talks out of a lamp and gives her advice about boys and shit. There should have been way more gambling, rearranging church marquees, donkey punching enemies, dining and dashing, excessive napping, and farting in the middle of a crowd and then vanishing. She really never seemed to take advantage of her gift. When I try to put my index fingers together, all I get is a failed sobriety test. Thanks SAPD!
olympia dukakus and shirley maclaine
"what would you call that color? grape or aubergine?
shut up Clarie! they just want to hear about injuries and touchdowns, they dont want to hear about that grape shit!"
shut up Clarie! they just want to hear about injuries and touchdowns, they dont want to hear about that grape shit!"
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