Tele Dilemma!

So, while most of the stupid USA aren't participating in the San Antonio Fiesta activities, drinking tons of beer and spending countless coupons on Maria's Torillas, gorditas, puffy tacos, escar-motherfucking-got, and all the other treats that i DID eat, I just can't remember their names!   I have been super busy supporting the local conservation society! 
Apparently the rest of the country has been busy watching Dancing with Piles of Shit, or American Pityfuck.
The network shows are starting to come towards the end of their seasons.     OH WAIT!
NO THAT HAVENT!  THEY HAVE BEEN SHOWING A FUCK LOAD OF REPEATS WHILE I SIT AROUND WAITING TO SEE HOW MANY PREVIEWS IN ONE COMMERCIAL BREAK I CAN SEE FOR FUCKING COUGAR TOWN!
I care very much for my Modern Family Wednesdays.  It has been at least a month.
I have really been hanging in there for my NBC Thursdays. (Excluding those two new shit-shows that someone, someones! should be fired for.)

How are we ever going to maintain any quality programming when these huge gaps between new episodes happen all the fucking time?
It really frustrates the hell out of me. 

This is the time of year when all of my favorite cable shows begin to rear there savory heads.
Showtime has it's Nurse Jackie. Love.
United States of Tara.  Not the best dish, but way better than any of the crap they serve at your restaurant.
The Borgias.  Been waiting for this fancy package of corruption for over a year!  And what do they do?  Give Jeremy Irons 5 minutes of screen time by episode 3.  The younger, shithead son is horribly cast.  He was in that Pillars of the Earth mini-series where he also played a despicable son who probably masturbates too much and has no friends other than the ones his status pathetically assigns to him. 
Starz.  Really clever name for a network. 
Don't have many.  What they did have was Party Down.  Half hour pieces of fucking brilliance!  I won't bother name dropping.  That is what IMDB is for
On the other hand Startz was responsible for that joke Sparticus.  AKA Why are you tempting me to throw a brick through all those jokable backdrops.
Camelot.  Joseph Fiennes.  Come on!  JF as Merlin, who does no fucking sorcery.  What am I missing on The Movie Channel?
HBO continues to deliver.  Mildred Pierce, the five part mini-series staring Kate Winslet blew my mind.  It is almost 6 hours in total and I have watched it twice.


My point.  I can watch old Simpsons episodes and countless classic movies on my computer for free all day long.  But TV, network TV.  I just don't think this is working out between us.  Even your better looking and more reliable half-sister HULU is just covered in these repetitive ads that I can't even make prettier with a little concealer, a pinch, or even some rouge!  Your ads make me want to steal!
Pirate TV is all I can do for now.